when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My dick has a subreddit
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
