I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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