sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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