just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
