didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
