I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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