Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just want to make out with him forever
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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