So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
