So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
