playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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