Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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