didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
