everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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