So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
