i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
