"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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