and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
