It's Friday. Sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
