we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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