I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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