I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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