I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize