I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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