Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
