Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
