Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
