just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
