Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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