everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
