I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
