on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
