I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
