I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
