The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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