nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
