My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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