I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
