Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize