No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
