five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
