I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
