Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
