Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
