If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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