omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
