Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
