Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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