Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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