32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
