Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
