you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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