just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
