There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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