im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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