Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We don't watch enough power rangers
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
