I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
